Rap battles.

What's goin' down ma' homies.

Yet another late post, tut tut tut to me. Well, pretty soon there won't be a post for an entire week (nearly) due to me being in Scotland. Huzzah.

Anyway, I was quite hyper the other night and I started having a rap battle with one of my mates, Charlie, over MSN. At first it wasn't so great from both sides but the heat soon picked up and after two or so rounds each we were both ON FIRE. YEAH. YEAH.

Well, what good is it if I don't share? Actually my MSN chat logs are really screwed up so I can't post the ones me and Charlie traded. I'll give you guys an exclusive.

'Ay fool, why you trippin'

You tryin' ta' stop me from rippin'

But yo' rhymes are weak, bro', your standards are slippin'

Pretty soon ma' lines are gonna have you flippin'

So get outta' hea' foo', before I blast yo' ass out

Gangster rappin' ain't what'chu knowledgable about

What chu' better be knowledgable about is how to reroute

Bro', this ain't the boy scouts, we don't go fishin' fo' trouts,

Ain't nuthin' more fo' us to talk about, so get'out.

Oooooh, that was sick. (And in case you aren't so great with understanding when I'm being sarcastic, that was dripping with it. I hate rap artists just as I did when I first heard them. Rap is just some people who know how to talk fast. Me and Charlie share this rabid hatred, and our "rap battles" are just piss-takes basically. Don't get serious and start e-mailing me responses unless you're joking around as well.)

Anyway, DJ Park 'as gotta bounce, foo's! See yo' asses tomorrow.

One guitar string down, five to go.

Hey.

Alright, yesterday my e string snapped halfway through a bend. By e string I mean the highest pitched string, not the E string, which is the lowest. And if you're interested, here's the most common way the strings of a guitar are displayed on a variant of sheet music known as tablature, or "tab" for short.

e

B

G

D

A

E

A lot of people, upon seeing this, ask me why there isn't a string for each note, and how you play the other notes if the strings don't have the note between them. This is roughly the time I pull a portable mini-chainsaw out of my sock and saw off their little finger for being so moronic. Every time you fret a note, it gets a little bit higher in pitch. It doesn't stay the A note all the way up the fretboard, just because you're on the A string. You can get to every single note on every string but on different octaves.

Usually I'd now go on to explain to all of you who are ignorant what octaves are, but to be honest I can't be bothered. I'm tired, bored and tired. So adios.

Oh, and why does the e string always (or usually) snap first? Because it's thinnest. Also, it's pretty much essential to a guitar solo, which tend to have a lot of bends, which involve straining the string to produce a higher pitch on the same fret. Strain = wear, and wear = tear. Anyway, that really is enough for today, plus my mother is telling me to go to bed. So see you all later, homies.

Peace.

My Teenage Years

What's up.

Yes, yes, yes. I have forgotten yet again to post for a day. I really have issues. Alright, this is gonna sound like an excuse but it's because I forget. My brain simply won't remind me to get my ass off the xbox and onto here to post up and earn moneyz towards that LP. If it did there'd be probably about five posts daily onto this website and I would be a bleeding millionaire. But my brain says noooooo.

Anyway, teenagers. Hoodies, mugs, chavs, hoodlums, lurkers. Right? Actually, yes you are. Nowadays at school the chav population has shot through the roof. Even a former nerd has converted to the new nation-wide most-popular religion of tracksuit-wearing, panty-showing idiots who stink of overused Lynx deodorant. So, in general, I'd agree with those words. In fact, even the average group tend to piss passers-by off, by pulling some stupid prank so they look funny in front of their friends - me included in that of course.

But what I don't get is why we get generalised. Is it because we're going through puberty and hormones have more control over us than ourselves, therefore watching us get angry is funnier? I can think of a lot of ways to generalize adults, not that I will of course. But come on. Pick on someone else. Like babies, they wouldn't understand if you called them "badly-raised, flea-headed gorillas", they'd just sit in their cots and act like they didn't give two flying craps wrapped in bacon.

So, please stop picking on the teens. PLEASE. :)

Close shave.

Too close, I nearly forgot. In fact, I'm meant to be in bed right now but the lure of the guitar was too strong to resist. So I'm here now, and here's today's post. A short one, for obvious reasons.

Anyway, I don't know how anyone can believe in a god, no offence to religious people out there. I'd hate to think that there's someone controlling my life and I'm not in charge myself - because I am. Okay, okay, so maybe I'm not very good at leading my life at times, but at least I am myself. Not a puppet controlled in a play directed by the man upstairs himself.

Of course, every now and then it does feel as if there's something supernatural that's larger than life. But that's not solid proof, and I won't believe god is controlling me until I see him (or her, politically) myself. Yeah, alright, maybe it sounds very narrow-minded to you, especially for a fourteen year old boy who should have a positive outlook on life. But the truth is I don't have a very open mind. I like things the way they are and I like to know that I'm in charge of my life and nobody else - especially not some old man who lives in the clouds and has a son whose name begins with a J. Ugh.

Alright, obviously I cannot ignore music because - well, I just can't. So to make up for the extreme lack of text over the past week or so, I'll give you this seriously awe-inspiring performance by Metallica of arguably their best song of all time. I swear, if there is a god he has to be called James Hetfield and own that beast of a guitar. Anyway, here it is, Moscow, Russia. Massive crowds too.

I don't know why really, but that classical part at the start with the female opera voice is one of the best parts, despite the fact I don't feel that close to classical. And it perfectly compliments the comparitively soft beginning of the song. Then cue drums and bass guitar, followed by overdrive guitar, then that absolutely AMAZING explosion.

You just have to love it.

The addict? I seriously don't think so buddy.

Alright, I feel a rant coming here.

Why the hell have I forgotten for so long to post on this blog? WHY!? It's going to the guitar and I'm still not dedicated. Honestly, I can't think of anything I'd like better than to have that guitar here in my arms, yet I'm just too bloody lazy to actually put some effort into this and MAKE IT WORK. AARGH.

Anyway, now that's gone, on the REAL rant. What the hell are horoscopes for? Okay, I'll grant you sometimes they're relatively accurate, in an obscure and flukish manner. I myself am a Scorpio (November 4th) and the following doesn't describe the week I'm having/had particularly well, if at all.

http://www.0800-horoscope.com/scorpio.php

Alright, I didn't really read properly as I should have. But near the end, it says "finances: fair to good". What? That doesn't make any sense at all - I'm skint and broke, otherwise I'd have that beautiful Epiphone here with me instead of writing on th- phew, stopped myself. Anyway, I accept all donations above the number of £300 (GBP) and will gladly repay you once I'm a bad-ass rockstar or something big-paying like that. Certainly my horoscope doesn't think so. 

Anyway, I'm bored, tired and... um... bored. So see you.