What's most important in a band?

HEY! I posted early today! It's a god-damned miracle!

I'm so happy! Yet I can't think of what to write about. Hmmm... Aha, I know. Alright, those of you who play a rock instrument (the ones I'm mainly thinking of are guitar, bass, drums, singing, keyboard perhaps) and have ever played in a group will know how frustrating it is if you cannot be heard over the noise of the other members of the band. I for one completely sympathize with this situation, since last half term. You see, last half-term in music we were doing a project where we wrote our own song. Ours wasn't fantastic but that isn't the point. The point is, Ben - who was on the drums - was way, way, way louder than I could achieve with the crappy little Gear4Music amp the school provided. Therefore, the entire 55 minute session would always pass with Ben making 90% of the noise, me making 9.99% and Andrew on the keyboard making about 0.01% - literally, once me and Ben came in he was history, totally inaudible.

However, many instruments simply aren't meant to be heard very clearly in my opinion. For instance, a keyboard compliments songs well when it's in the background, for instance Smoke on the Water. But when it's a main part of the song's volume it can ruin a song entirely. In my opinion, the main instruments in a rock band that need to be the first things to hit you in the face are the electic guitar(s) and the singer. After which comes the drums, then the bass.

Bassists will immediately read that above and start researching where I live in order to assassinate me for blaspheming, but hear me out. I never said bass is not important - in fact it's one of the most important, along with the drums, in my opinion. But it's not something you remember the song for, unless you're listening to an insane bassist like RHCP's Flea. No, normally what keeps your attention and sticks in your head for hours afterwards is either a) the guitar riff or b) the lyrics and vocals. That said, bass and drums are vital for a song. Imagining just a guitar and a singer brings various suicide techniques into my head, because it simply wouldn't work. Maybe if you're sitting around a campfire with your mates and you're just having a sing-a-long, then yes, it works fine. But a studio song? No, never. Ever, ever, ever. The only exception is Stairway to Heaven, which managed a guitar, keyboard and singer for four minutes before introducing the two more important instruments.

God, I haven't structured this post very well. I'll sum it up as quickly and understandably as possible, since I may be flying straight over your head by this point. Summary - bass and drums are essential. But guitar and vocals are more important. No, bass and drums are more important, but so is the guitar and the vocalist. Not as much, it's less important, but it's not unimportant. The bass and drums are most important and the guitar and singing is just important. Aaaaah, screw that. You get my drift.

Peace.

Red Faction: Guerrilla review

Hey guys.

I'm really running out of things to write about. Therefore, I'm gonna review something. However, not a book - since the ones I've read recently are all non-fiction, which are exceptionally boring to review. Not just boring, but really boring. So, I'm going to review a game.

Right, I lied. It's not a game, it's a game demo. Much less to write about that way, you see. Well anyway, I'll get started.

Red Faction: Guerrilla. A lot of people say it has a lot to live up to, with its predecessors being pioneers of destructive environment open-world gameplay. I'd agree with them on that, even though I haven't actually played RF1 or RF2. In fact, I only heard of this game because my friend Andrew told me about it at school. In fact, before the review I'll give you a little background info about what goes on in our friendship group:

Me, Salem, Ben and George all own an Xbox 360, and play together a lot. However, Andrew only owns a Vista PC to play COD5 on. Hence, me, Salem, George and Ben always mock him for not having one. Harsh? Maybe. Maybe it would be, if he was actually too poor to afford one. But no, he's got like £600 in his bank account, would it hurt so much to invest and join the craze? I don't think so. And yeah, I know we should let him use his money how we wants, but the thing is that he isn't using it for anything. Since the computer, he hasn't used his money in like a year. Anyway, the reason he introduced RF:G was because it's cross-platform. Yes, PC players can play against 360 players in a rare type of Live system. I'd go into detail but I'm too lazy, so... yeah. For a brief period Andrew was bragging to us, all like "Haha, Windows Live users don't have to pay to play online but Xbox users do." So I checked the Microsoft website, and funnily enough, yes. You DO have to pay Andrew, you stupid little cock.

Anyway, back to RF:G. You play as Alec Mason, a member of the Red Faction. You came to Mars in the year 20somthing because you thought you'd get filthy rich by mining, and head back home, get a supermodel wife and five kids, buy a mansion and a Ferrari, and spend the rest of your life in a jacuzzi with various beautiful women who are only half-dressed whilst your wife looks after the kids. Instead, you arrive to find the EDF, or Earth Defence Force, slaughtering and butchering civilians "for their own good". I'm guessing George Bush was behind the game's logic and designed the EDF. Anyway, since you're furious with the crap the EDF are going through with, you join a rebellion called the Red Faction, who have been battling against the EDF ever since they starting pwning the n00bs, somewhere between RF2 and RF:G.

Well, anyhoosier, you don't get much storyline from the demo. The mission is to run into an EDF base, steal a mining walker for the Red Faction and escape on the back of a truck with a grenade-launching turret on the back of it. I wish I had one. To start with, Alec is equipped with a sledgehammer, an assault rifle and some remote charges. All of these come in handy in some way - by far the most fun, for me, being the sledgehammer. It's awesome. Alec Mason must have been some butch bodybuilding guy for him to raze as much stuff as he does with one blow of the hammer. RT performs a horizontal swing whilst LT performs a downward smash - perfect for crushing EDF skull, hell yeah. As well as armour, the sledgehammer also excels at destroying walls, knocking them down in one or two smashes at most. It's really useful, particularly in the Geomod environment (I'll get to that later) and allows new tactical options like never before - get a floor above your enemies, smash a hole in the floor, drop a remote charge through and make it go boom, drop down and get a full house with one swing of your hammer, it's up to you. The way the developers have done it is brilliant. The other two weapons are handy too, but not quite as cool. Well, I suppose the charges are. You can place four at a time, though you carry 16 to start. Once you've placed up to four charges, you can detonate them as you see fit by pressing B. They make quite nice bangs, courtesy of the brilliant explosion graphics, and are a more noticeable but equally fun way of getting through a building as the sledgehammer. You can also stick them to the EDF troopers, upon which they run around in panic until you blow 'em up. It makes really good fun if you've stuck three of them at the same time, all running around like chickens, then all blowing up at the same time. And the assault rifle is for shooting the EDF. Nothing more, nothing less.

The environment is NOT fully destructable. Sure, the structures and all are, but the terrain is set in stone, quite literally. Of course, I don't really give a crap, since the Geomod 2.0 engine does such a good job with building stress systems that  you completely forget about that tiny flaw. The way that a piece of metal will break according to where you hit/blow it up is just amazing and will never cease to impress me. I've seen more realistic wood damage, from the Force Unleashed, but it's still not bad at all. Anyway, thanks to this great damage engine there are endless possibilites. Run through a level with a rocket launcher, blowing up anything that moves, drive a car towards the enemy base loaded with charges and bail out at the last moment to detonate once it's inside the building, run through walls which enemies are hiding behind - really, I can't think of when to stop. It's a fantastic fresh breath of air from Halo 3, which is a good game but gets a little annoying when no buildings fall over after ten or so Spartan laser shots. Oh god, I'd love to see the Spartan laser in RF:G. Wow. That'd kick some juicy ass.

And the AI. Well, I'll say it's not exactly amazing. If you catch one out in the middle of an open area for instance, and open fire at it, it'll just stop running for cover and sit and crouch, opening fire at you. How dumb can you get? Seriously - think about it. You're running towards cover, you're almost there - when you feel a bullet hit your armour. You're a few steps away from cover, where you can fire from while feeling a lot safer, or you can stop in the goddamned open and commence shooting from there. Hell, if you chose option B you're Gordon Brown. Congratulations.

The graphics - fantastic. The Geomod 2.0 engine seriously boosts the graphics, with the beautifully detailed explosions added to by flying debris. You can't not love blowing the same building up over and over again, just because it causes you a spontaneous orgasm every time you see it happen. Especially when you blow up a gas tank and there's a green tinge to the huge orange explosion, it just looks, ugh. AMAZING.

In conclusion - the scores.

Gameplay - 9/10

Story - 7/10

Graphics - 9/10

AI - 4/10

Overall - 7.25/10

The world REALLY isn't perfect.

Hey people.

I'm slightly late today - I was originally intending to start posting twice per day from today to boost my income, but I forgot. Well, at least I didn't completely forget, anyway. So, now that I've remembered I have to think of something to actually write about...

Hmm...

Oh yeah. Why did Britney shave her head exactly? I mean, I never really looked at the news behind it, I was simply cut short by laughter when seeing that shiny, smooth style on the head of a woman. I mean, I'd understand if it was unavoidable, like if she'd had cancer or something. In which case I definitely wouldn't have laughed, since cancer isn't funny. But no, she wasn't ill, she simply decided to shear off all her long, presumably well-grown hair. Publicity? I bloody well think so.

Anyway, I really meant that cancer isn't funny. Seriously. I dunno if it's the environment every UK student goes through nowadays, but for some reason relatively a lot of people seem to be affected by a serious disease of some sort or another. For instance, my friend's mum was diagnosed with breast cancer last year - fortunately she recovered. I was actually pretty worried and scared for her, since I'd been friends with her daughter since Year 3. That's six years. Still, that wasn't anywhere near as bad as when one of my best friends was caught with leukemia. That was just... the worst.

It was terrible. He'd been missing school since the start of term 2 in Year 8. Naturally we were all wondering, yet none of us had his phone number (he wasn't a "come-round-my-house-every-day-to-play-on-my-computer" type of best friend - more of a "see-you-at-school" best friend) so none of us could ask him about it. I hate to say it, but after the first six or seven weeks without him around us, he began to fade from my mind. Not completely, but I'd have to be lying in bed and staring at the ceiling before he came to mind again, which I'm ashamed of. You see, he was a great person - funny as hell, especially. I mean, even when he isn't trying to be funny he manages it. Like, once in Geography the head of year walked into the room and was asking our teacher about some boring teacher crap when his phone started ringing. What made it so funny was a) the ringtone itself, which sounded like a stock ringtone designed for a mix between Christmas and a disco party, and b) the amazingly startled look on his face. Naturally, since everyone loved him and he was so popular and funny, he got let off pretty easily with it.

Anyway, nearing the end of the year, we heard news about him. Rumours were flying around, saying that he was coming back or something. Me, Ben, Andrew and Salem were all immediately curious, yet none of us were told the real news until the whole form group was told. I'll be blunt - our form tutor is a blunt, insensitive cow. Ben, especially, had a very strong friendship with our friend, and obviously would have been hurt if Ms. Jackson did what she ended up doing.

"By the way, everyone - you remember [our friend]? He's got leukemia and he won't be in school for the rest of the year."

Actually, I think me and Ben coped with it quite well initially. There was a shocked silence, even though 80% of the room didn't know him. Salem and Andrew were his good friends, but aren't so quick to show emotion comparitively as me and Ben are. We got let out to first lesson, and it was early into period 1 that the tears started. Ben went first and I went over to comfort him - before finding I myself was bursting into tears also. I felt embarrassed, of course, but the main thing I felt was worry. Deep, unthinkably painful worry for our best friend, who had a lethal disease. I managed to splutter the news to the few who were gathering around to support us.

The entire lesson was spent with nearly everyone in the set in tears. He'd been a charismatic part of the group, and everyone was so stricken by the idea of him not returning. It hurt.

Badly.

Well, after recovering slightly we made re-doubled efforts for his cause. We soon received news that the disease had been intercepted early and that he'd be fine, but that obviously didn't just let us rest on our laurels while our greatest friend was in so much pain. This next part is the most incredible thing.

Basically, we decided to get him something he'd like, to pass the time and take his mind off the antibiotics for a while. We started gathering money from people all around school, and the pot soon grew, and rapidly. I made £15 donation, Ben also making £15. Nearly everyone in set 1 gave at least £5. Before a week or two, we'd knocked up around £180 between us. Me, Ben, Salem and Andrew all congregated and decided on an Xbox 360 as his present - it was a perfect price, and that way he'd be able to play with me, Salem and Ben over Xbox Live.

Time passed quickly after that, and the Xbox was bought and delivered. He expressed his thanks and also gave us his phone number (finally) for us to contact him. We arranged to go around his house for some fun and to see him. Unfortunately, Ben was in Swansea for Counties swimming or something like that. So me and Salem met him, and we had (after some preliminary awkwardness) a good three or four hours on the Xbox, on Halo 3. I tell you, it's a great game to unwind with. It was great - since he hadn't hooked up Xbox Live yet we went on custom games, on free-for-all. At one point, they teamed up on me. After having camped me three or four times, our friend tried to betray Salem by stabbing him with a sword. He failed, since he's that bad at Halo, so Salem turned around and blew him up. I think the violent type of game is way better than any other at breaking tension. If we'd been playing Hello Kitty Island Adventure we'd probably have not spoken to each other for the entire duration of the game.

So, anyway. The worst part - even worse than the initial news, though it didn't end in tears - was when I was talking to him on the phone and asked him when he'd be able to come back. His answer was:

"Bad news cropped up, mate. I'm moving schools."

He tried to make it sound like he was happy about it, but I could tell he didn't want to. And I sure as hell didn't want him to either - we'd been waiting for so long to see him again. I honestly think if he'd returned he could have gotten laid about five or six times. After saying "you're joking, right?" and talking to his mum about it a little bit, I shrugged dumbly and hung up. I cried my eyes out that night, which may have made me seen really gay, but he was that close. That popular.

Well, we're in Year 9 now. The pain of the past is fading quickly enough, though we haven't contacted him in a while. I better get round to doing that over the holidays, arrange another meeting. I hope to God he hasn't forgotten us for his new friends from his new school. We sure haven't forgotten him. Sure as I am sure that Britney is an attention-seeking bald-headed cow.

Ex-bald headed anyway.

Cookies - good. Puberty - bad. Voice - ugly.

Hello.

As I type this, I have just finished a pack of Maryland chocolate and hazelnut cookies, and I'm spreading the crumbs all over the keyboard. But of course, I don't care - because cookies are that great. I'm not a fat kid who always fantasizes over food - I'm not even fat in the first place actually. The thing is, since I'm only 14 I have a high metabolism, which means I can eat all the unhealthy crap I want and I'll hardly gain weight - as opposed to adults, who only have to eat half a chocolate bar for their asses to jiggle all week.

I love the chocolate chips, and when you find them. It's like they're mini-oasises. Soft and sweet in the middle of a crunchy desert of cookie goodness, with the odd hazelnut to spice it up a little. Well, I'm sure you've all eaten a cookie before. If not, I suggest you head for your nearest shop and buy some immediately - they're unmissable.

Anyway, as I type this I am also listening to an Aerosmith song, called "Dream On". At first, when I heard it the first thing that popped into my mind was - "What the hell is this fake bullcrap? That's not Steven Tyler. Gimme the real thing." So, believing devoutly that the song off iTunes was a fake, I searched all over YouTube for the original. Everywhere I looked, however, it was the same audio track with the un-Tyler-ish voice singing. So I checked the live performance, and oddly enough - there he was, Steven Tyler himself, pouring his soul into the microphone but not in his "trademark" rasp.

See, I read somewhere that the voice ages with the body. Not true. About a year or so ago I and Charlie went to a music shop which was holding an open evening with a few performances from local acts. In among the three acts was a band (I've quite sadly forgotten the name) and the frontman was an older guy, maybe around fifty or sixty. (I'm not great with guessing ages, for all my guess is worth he could have been twenty.) Yet when he sang he sounded just like a young vocalist with their whole career ahead of them. So you can't really claim that Steven Tyler's voice has changed due to his age.

Wear and tear? Maybe. With all the screaming in some of their songs, I wouldn't be surprised if his voice had adjusted to cope with the harsher sounds it was being forced to produce. Maybe that's why I love playing guitar so much - because the sound and quality never changes, never alters itself unreliably. I mean, Steven's voice was great back then and it's great now, but it's still different. I personally prefer modern-Tyler, but he sure wasn't bad in Aerosmith's early years.

I'm sad to say that the transformation of my own voice is even more of a mystery, at least to me. I'm 14, and my voice started breaking roughly half-way through being 14. Not exactly an early starter, yeah, but a lot of kids in my form can still sing Queen songs an octave higher than they should be. Anyhoo, my voice has broken quite dramatically - I used to have quite a high voice, and my singing pitch was vast, if I say so myself. However, once the hormones struck and my voice transformed, I found myself constantly speaking in a baritone. And singing was even worse - the first time I tried to sing along to an AC/DC song and found I hit exactly 0% of the notes was... suicide-inducing. If anything, it made me cling to my guitar even more than I had before - because I didn't want to lose all of my musical ability all because of some god-damned hormones. My voice probably will never be like it was, yet I can't help hoping it will be one day. I don't want a vocal coach and would much rather spend that time playing guitar or socializing - I'm a guitarist at soul, not a singer.

Still doesn't stop me from singing along to "I Don't Want To Miss A Thing" though.

Steven Tyler still kicks ass.

Welcome me back.

Yes, I'm back. Don't even ask why I haven't posted in so long, because the answer is pretty stupid - I forgot. Yeah. How dumb must I be? Get over it.

Anyway, I've got a lot of stuff to write about - the Scotland trip, for one. However, I'm pretty sure I can wrap my personall crap up pretty quick and get onto something far more fun to read. Okay, basically - it was an all-day bus trip with lots of bumps. Then we stayed in a house in the middle of nowhere for a week, going kayaking, zip-wiring and climbing. Then came another all-day trip with more bumps and sickness, then I was back here. Phew, that was efficient. Now...

Okay, I've been expanding my musical shores, so to speak. Not to the extent I can listen to pure, unadultered rap - I pray that day never comes, for it will show I have degenerated from a well-taught musician to a retard - but rather, I've managed to listen to a few Travis Barker remixes without printing off a picture of 50 cent and stabbing it with a blunt pencil repeatedly. Pour example:

Yeah, I thought that lessened the painful fail of rappers slightly. Though it's still nothing compared to real music. My top three list for this week:

1. Enter Sandman - Metallica

2. I Don't Want To Miss A Thing - Aerosmith

3. The Spirit of Radio - Rush

All great songs from great artists. Especially Enter Sandman - remember it? Yeah, I posted a video of Metallica live in Moscow a while back performing the song. It's awesome as hell. Awesome as awesomeness even. Seriously, it's the best song EVER. Just because it might be off my top 3 list in the future, doesn't mean that opinion has changed. It will always be a fantastic song for me. Then again, it's unfair to mention these songs:

Pull Me Under - Dream Theater

The Show Must Go On - Queen

Stairway To Heaven - Led Zeppelin

Kashmir - Led Zeppelin

There's a lot more I could ramble on about, but I will not. Right, also we're only two more days away from the long-awaited seven-day reprieve of constant schoolwork and - in Maths' case - revision. For some odd reason, our school set up our exams like this. In exam week, we did our English and Science papers - but not our Maths, which apparently will wait until the last term. That's weird as hell. Well, whatever. I'd better go and revise now, I'll leave you rocking with this cool song from System Of A Down, who I'm not a huge fan of but like this song nevertheless.

Oooooooooooooooooh yeah. I love the verses - the less psycho parts. Anyway, I really got to go, so much love guys/gals. Bye.