I CANNOT WAIT.

Believe it or not, the great, fantastic, awe-inspiring genius you know as Harry is actually fidgeting. FIDGETING. In his seat.

Hazard a guess why? Maybe I'm about to go and watch the entire nation of France cry when they find out snails are actually slugs, which are pretty much worms, which crap out soil. Gross. Or maybe I'm going outside to point and laugh at Britney Spears who just shaved her hair off a second time. (By the way, that hasn't actually happened, I'm just theorizing.) Or maybe even...

I'M GETTING A NEW GUITAR WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

Okay, this will be complicated to explain... right, here goes. Basically, this is the list (in chronological order) of guitars that I was going to spend the money I receive from this blog on.

- Les Paul '56 Goldtop Reissue (£379)
- G-310 (~£150)
- G-400 (~£250)
- G-400 1956 Reissue (~£310)
- Les Paul Standard Plain-Top (worth £350, I got it for £250)

Yeah. I know, I'm a teenager, I'm undecisive. You can't blame me though - there's a massive selection that you're asking me to rifle through and pick the best from. First, I saw the LP Goldtop's finish and said "I WANT IT". However, I soon realised it'd have taken almost until my birthday before I'd have saved up enough money for it. So, being impatient (and, in hindsight I see stupid), I decided to set my sights on one of the cheaper Epiphones - the G-310. It's not a bad guitar by any means, but the finish is so boring and untextured. It's the one you'll see a picture of, the fully black one with chrome hardware and white trimming. Of course, I read a few reviews to check up on the G-310's musical abilities, and found it was inferior to its bigger brother, the G-400. As such, I decided to get that instead. Then I looked at a review for the '56 reissue, which claimed better tone, finish and action. It didn't cost a huge amount more (or so I thought at the time) so I decided to aim for that. THEN I saw the LP Standard, and realised why my first choice had been a Les Paul. Sure, the SG looks great - I still love the shape of that body with the similarly shaped pickguard, it's a beautiful guitar. But unless I could have had the '55 reissue (EVEN BETTER than the '56 one) I knew Les Pauls were better overall. That must've been the reason so many more artists are famous for their Les Pauls than SGs - take SGs. They're great, but the only truly famous musicians that frequently use/used them are Angus Young and Tommy Iommi. As opposed to the Les Paul - Jimmy Page, Slash, Jimi Hendrix (yes, he did when he was touring London before switching to the Strat), Jeff Beck, Eric Clapton (for a while), Ace Frehley, Billie Gibbons, Roy Orbison, Kirk Hammett, Mick Taylor, Joe Perry and of course, the legend Les Paul himself. That's just naming a few.

So, that would conclude this post. NOTE: It's not today's post, I'll be making another. Maybe even three - is it possible? I hope so.

WARNING: This is level 8 stuff.

Correct-a-mundo! This is level 8. By which I mean, my JFK assassination assessment which you can find below fetched a level 8 from my history teacher. It's actually pretty good, although in the end, when I had to print, I found it took up 7 pages and 2 lines. That's the longest essay I've ever written, which just goes to show how much effort I put in. I'd been working on it for around 3 weeks when I handed it in, and it still wasn't complete in my opinion. I missed out medical evidence and the Cubans, for example... I just didn't have enough time, especially as I had my English assessment to hand in as well. So, without further ado I introduce you to the most amazing and longest essay I've ever written.

EDIT: Dammit, the formatting when I copy-paste it into the blog is really screwed up, so I'll try to find another way to get that working so you guys can read what earned me a very satisfying grade. For now I suppose I'll have to entertain with a normal post.

Well, that was a bloody disappointment, wasn't it? Oh well. It's the summer, there isn't anything I couldn't care less about than the way the formatting of a 7-page assessment turns out. The weather in the UK is great nowadays - lots of sun, only rains in the early morning and... cock, I better go now. See ya.

School's Out!!

YESSSSSS!!! WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

Sorry, had to get that out of my system. 7 weeks of non-school rock 'n' roll is something that induces random outbursts such as that one within me.

WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

There goes another one... ah well. Anyway, yeah. Last day of school was today, but it's doing it more credit than it deserves by actually referring to it as a school day - more like a half-day-of-messing-around-in-art-class-followed-by-an-assembly. However, there was a twist involved. Two of them, in fact. Actually, three of them. Cock, there's four in fact. I'll run through them in chronological order.

Twist number one - I twisted the front wheel of my bike. Not the tyre or anything, but the friggin' wheel itself. I was just riding along minding my own business (that business being going to Ben's house to collect him on the way to school) when a kid who goes to our school in year 7 called Tom rams into me from the side. Since he was head on and I was side on, he went over my front wheel, bending it completely and utterly out of shape. Instead of looking like this:

It looked more like this:

And no, that's not my bike actually. I just googled "bicycle wheel" and "bent bicycle wheel" and used some images from there instead... I'm just too lazy to take a picture of my own bike and bluetooth it to my computer. Besides, I'm helping the people at Google's careers by doing so, because... well, I just am. Anyway, at least I don't need my bike urgently for the next 7 weeks anyway and I can have a legit excuse for my mother to drop me off everywhere instead. Ho ho ho, happy days. Still, I bet she'll want me to take it to Halfords sometime soon anyway. Aw well.

So, that's twist one dealt with nicely. Numero two - when we got to school there were THREE PEOPLE there that had been off before because of suspected swine flu!! WOAH!! At first glance this might have been great, since one of them was Charlie, but actually one of the girls that came in still looked sick as a sick schoolchild... which she was, I suppose. She was coughing and sneezing all over the place, it was scary... but at least we got to see Charlie again. Me and him once again baffled everyone else with our guitar talk - discussing what guitar I was going to get in fact. I was speculating whether to get a 3-humbucker custom G-310 Epiphone or the slightly more expensive G-400, which also has a half-pickguard rather than the traditional full one on the G-310 and Gibson models. Charlie pointed out that the G-400 Vintage comes with EMGs, which give a richer tone than standards, but I countered with the fact that two of the three pickups on the custom G-310 were P90s, which also have a nice tone and can produce some beautiful distortion too. The heritage cherry finish on the G-400 is also much nicer than the factory black gloss on the G-310... anyway, yeah. That's how confused our friends feel whenever we discuss guitar.

So, trois. Like a lot of secondary schools, ours holds a "hall point" competition. Basically, students can acquire these hall points by doing various suck-up deeds such as volunteering for helping teachers, doing good work, bla-de-bla. (I got ten of these for my level 8 History assessment by the way :> ) Then, at the end of the term they are counted up and added to each hall's total. There are two halls at our school - Darwin and Nightingale. Blue and Red. I'm in Nightingale. The tradition at our school is that Darwin always seems to win the damned trophy at the end of the year. As a joke, me and some friends pretend to be in Darwin at the end of the year so we get to cheer when everyone else in Nightingale looks miserable. However, instead of tradition, Nightingale actually won this year. Of course, there was a draw-back - we had to boo instead. But it didn't matter, since nobody but saddos actually care about the trophy anyway.

And finally, twist four. This twist is the most recent, and it is that I forgot what I was originally planning twist four to be. So on that bombshell, I leave you with some funny quotes from Top Gear and make my hasty escape.

Or not, Youtube isn't working on my computer. So bye!

Swine Flu makes me :(

Wow, this is the longest I've ever maintained a website of any sort. Ever. Seriously.

Anyway, I got some bad news. You've almost definitely heard of the "swine flu" epidemic that is striking globally. In case you don't, it's a form of influenza that originated in Mexico. Apparently according to Andrew, it started when somebody had sexual intercourse with a pig... groosssssssssss. Anyway, it's like normal flu but it kills faster, or so I hear. There is medication and antibiotics to cure the illness but you can't just leave it and only take medicine after having it for a few weeks - it's got to be cured ASAP.

Anyway, about half of our class has been struck down with swine-flu symptoms - note that they don't necessarily have it though. It's just a few symptoms! For all they know it might just be normal flu! Well, yeah, a lot of the school's been affected but I can't help but think that a few of my friends are simply using the epidemic as an excuse to get off school - a brilliant plan which I could never pull off thanks to my mother's constant insistency that I don't miss school... ever. Actually, this year is the first I've achieved 100% attendance! Hooray!

Technically speaking, that could drop by 0.05% or so still, since the school year isn't over. But anyway, bubye ladies and gents!

Guitar Lesson - Speed Buster!

Speed is something which comes to a guitarist with constant practice! Determination and consistency are two things that will get you to your goal. Vinnie Moore in his instructional CD said, he had a daily 1 hour routine where all he did was just shred, and play chromatics, and also play patterns, at blazing speeds. One of his biggest secrets is no secret to a developing guitarist, you have to go up gradaually. No one can expect to get upto speeds reached by Michael Angelo at once.

To someone eager to reach high speeds, the metronome should be your best friend. Now there are alternatives to the metronome, but this is the best way. As I have said before consistency and determination is what you need. You should try to create a practice schedule pf your own, let it be 30 mins, or an hour. Its very important. Now what do you do, in this 30-60 mins, this is supposed to be really boring. Repeat chromatics, play them in different patterns and so on. Here are some exercises that you can do in your routine. I found them very useful. You'll say the same thing after doing them. For those of you who dont know! A D refers to a downstroke and U to an upstroke!

Exercise 1

This is for beginners. Dont avoid alternate picking, its a key weapon when it comes to playing fast. The exercise lets you get used to alternate picking.

D U D U  |-0--0--0--0--1--1--1--1--2--2--2--2--3--3--3--3-|Repeat till 12  |------------------------------------------------|  |------------------------------------------------|  |------------------------------------------------|  |------------------------------------------------|  |------------------------------------------------|

Its really helpful especially if you havent done alternate picking before. After that reverse the pattern, that is Up Down Up Down.

Exercise 2  D U D U  |------------------------------------------1-2-3-4--5-4-3-2----------------  |----------------------------------1-2-3-4------------------5-4-3-2--------  |--------------------------1-2-3-4----------------------------------5-4-3-2  |------------------1-2-3-4-------------------------------------------------etc  |----------1-2-3-4---------------------------------------------------------  |--1-2-3-4-----------------------------------------------------------------

This is the 4 note chromatic pattern. Its really boring, yet very useful. Play it till the 12th fret. To make this a bit more interesting you can use legato (Hammerons and Pull offs), and string skipping. When you use string skipping use your imagination, you can play the 4 note pattern in E String then skip to D, then A to G and so on.

Exercise 3  D U D  |-------------------------------1-2-3--4-3-2-------------------------------  |-------------------------1-2-3--------------4-3-2-etc---------------------  |-------------------1-2-3--------------------------------------------------  |-------------1-2-3--------------------------------------------------------  |-------1-2-3--------------------------------------------------------------  |-1-2-3--------------------------------------------------------------------

Now this may seem simple enough. But trust me, its not. Its pretty deifficult to keep the D U D U pattern going. Thats the key to this exercise. Try to play D U D U, until you become absolutely 100% accurate. Use string skipping.

Exercise 4  D U D U  |-----------------------------------------1-3-2-4---------|  |---------------------------------1-3-2-4---------2-4-3-5-|  |-------------------------1-3-2-4-------------------------|  |-----------------1-3-2-4---------------------------------|  |---------1-3-2-4-----------------------------------------|  |-1-3-2-4-------------------------------------------------|   |-----------------------------------------|  |-----------------------------------------|  |-2-4-3-5---------------------------------|  |---------2-4-3-5-------------------------|  |-----------------2-4-3-5---------3-5-4-6-|  |-------------------------2-4-3-5---------|

Now this is very very useful! Now instead of using playing 1324, you may also play 1423 or 1324 or anything. Use your imagination. Use string skipping.

Exercise 5  D U D U  |-1234----------------------------------------------6789--|  |------2345------------------------------------6789-------|  |-----------3456--------------------------6789------------|  |----------------4567----------------6789-----------------|  |---------------------5678------6789----------------------|  |--------------------------6789---------------------------|    |---------------------------------------------------4321--|  |-8765-----------------------------------------4321-------|  |------7654-------------------------------4321------------|  |-----------6543---------------------4321-----------------|  |----------------5432-----------4321----------------------|  |---------------------4321-4321---------------------------|   Exercise 6 and 7  D D D D  |-----------------------4-------------------------|  |---------------4-----3---------5---------------6-|  |-------4-----3-----2---------4---------5-----5---|  |-----3-----2-----1---------3---------4-----4-----|  |---2-----1---------------2---------3-----3-------|  |-1-------------------------------2---------------|  UUUU  |-1-------------------------------2---------------|  |---2-----1---------------2---------3-----3-------|  |-----3-----2-----1---------3---------4-----4-----|  |-------4-----3-----2---------4---------5-----5---|  |---------------4-----3---------5---------------6-|  |-----------------------4-------------------------|

These 2 exercises will later help you with sweep picking, treat them with respect, and you will be rewarded. Now before I finish I will provide one more exercise, in fact its a pattern. That is you can use it with scales and stuff. Its probably the most common off em all. And as you get faster you'll realise how often they are used by your favourite speed demons.

D U D U D U D U D U D U D U D U   |---------------------------------|--------------------------------|  |---------------------------------|--------------------------------|  |---------------------------------|--------------------------------|  |---------------------------------|---------5-------5-6----5-6-7---|  |---------5-------5-6-----5-6-7---|-5-6-7-8---6-7-8----7-8-------8-|  |-5-6-7-8---6-7-8-----7-8-------8-|--------------------------------|   |---------------------------------|----------------------------------|  |---------------------------------|---------5-------5-6-----5-6-7----|  |---------5-------5-6-----5-6-7---|-5-6-7-8---6-7-8-----7-8-------8--|  |-5-6-7-8---6-7-8-----7-8-------8-|----------------------------------|  |---------------------------------|----------------------------------|  |---------------------------------|----------------------------------|

Now this is really basic, spend some time with and try using it in your solos- very useful. You should play all the exercises above regularly even though its got the same effect as watching Oprah. But unlike Oprah this helps (no hard feelings n e 1, its just that the show is boring). Try to make them more interesting by using effects, using variations I. e strike each notes in a different way, vary your speed, use other legato and all.

Now that ends part I, (I don't know whether there will be a Part 2). If you are a beginner, what I would suggest is play each exercise in such a way, that you can play em with your eyes closed. Then use the metronome, and gradually increase your speed that is from 110 to 120. Dont kill yourself by starting of with 150. Thats about it! Take care and remember that the metronome is your best friend.

Note: In my 3 years of learning these are some exercises which have improves my playing a lot, I have studied articles, videos and lots of other stuff. If the article looks or is similar to any other in the internet, its accidental. There is no plagiarism involved.

Enjoy.

God Gave Rock N' Roll To YOU!!

Hello.

Have any of you guys seen School of Rock? You know, that stereotypical Jack Black film in which he throws up the horns every ten seconds and always stands with his legs spread and singing a soprano. You know... it has lots of children in it? There's a show at the end which is completely unrealistic, you know? Aha. Well, to refresh your memory it looked a little something like this:

Yeah, it's actually not all that bad. I suppose they really did have to Hollywood-ize it in order for anyone of today's society to actually pay attention to it. It has its moments - the guitar kid in it can actually play pretty impressively for someone of his age.

Now, picture Kiss, the band. Here, I'll do it for you.

See the dude at the bottom? That's Gene Simmons. Believe it or not, he did a similar thing to School of Rock himself. We watched two of the episodes in music class today, since the equipment got packed up due to demolishment of one of the rooms.

I'd go into more detail but I have to go. Again. Very badly timed.

Anyway, see you guys tomorrow.

History Assessment Extract - hooray!!

Hey guys.

I'm feeling better now - my throat's still giving me hell but at least I don't feel so weak that I can't even stand up on my feet without feeling dizzy. To be honest, this isn't going to be a great post since I am slightly preoccupied. I have a History assessment due in tomorrow concerning whether Lee Harvey Oswald was responsible for the assassination of JFK. Or, for those of you who don't know what that stands for, John F(itzgerald) Kennedy, 35th President of the United States. Here, since I can't really write much without wasting time, I'll copy and paste a paragraph of my essay here.

Actually I won't - what if someone from school were to steal it and hand it in as their own? I'd get screwed sideways if that happened.

Anyway, sorry about the second short-as-hell post out of two this month, it'll only get better though. I had adequate excuses for both anyway, so don't whine.

OR ELSE.

(hehe)

ILLNESS :( :( :(

I've been sick for the past few days :(

This post is going to be very short, just saying I'll post more. I just didn't feel up to it recently. See you later guys.

Not a great way to mark my 30th post...