Parallel universes, and how much I want them

Hello again.

First off, sorry about missing a day (or two, I'm not sure) of posting, I completely forgot. If you know how you have my permission to reach through that computer screen and slap me in the face.

Anyway. I was thinking, and I was thinking hard. Or at least, harder than normal. Because it was about something strange that I don't actually know all that much about, and that something is the mysterious theory of parallel universes.

Now, I haven't read up on it and I don't intend to because I am really that lazy, but from what I heard from my science whizz friend at school, there are infinite parallel universes out there, all part of a theorized "multiverse". Now, each of these parallel universes is different. Maybe (in fact, definitely), there's a universe out there where all ladybirds are green with beige stripes down the middle. Maybe there's a universe where there has never been any wars. Maybe there's a universe where everybody in the world loved rock music and rap and hip hop never existed. Maybe there's a universe where George Bush never was born. Oh, the wishful possibilities are endless.

Anyway, since we were in English at the time of my deep pondering I was in a more analytical mood, shall we say. I was pondering if it'd be possible to go to any of these parallel universes, and I struck upon what I believe to be the most likely story.

Black holes.

Yes, scientists say that anything going into a black hole is destroyed, but maybe that's just because nobody can see into another universe. You never know, if you think very hard about the universe you want to be in as you enter the hole you might just find yourself in it. All the same, I'd rather steer well clear of all black holes until that theory's been tested. Preferably by somebody else stupid enough to do so.

Anyway, I'd really love some parallel universes where:

1. I received a million pounds every day from a Swiss bank account.

2. I had eternal youth.

3. There was no prejudice.

The last one may seem somewhat "hippyish", but think about it. Of course, you can say that things like racism, war and hatred are all worse than prejudice but you'd be wrong. You can't be a racist without being prejudiced against the race you're discriminating. You can't wage a war without some form of prejudice and you can't hate someone or something for no reason, even if you think you do. Prejudice is what drives everything negative.

So, since that was quite an odd post because I actually wrote sincerely for once, I'll lighten the mood. With another of my favourite songs.

Hooray, a milestone

Hey all.

Yep, this post marks a milestone. Not a very impressive one, in fact the opposite. It's the lamest milestone I could have bothered with. But anyway, hooray hooray for I have made ten posts!! (Including this one obviously.)

Now, it'd be pretty lame if I were to leave the day with just a post about having reached a milestone. So let's converse... about what?

This seems to happen a lot more often; I end up sitting here behind the PC, thinking of what to write about. Often the subjects swerve towards either what I'm doing at that moment or the mood I'm in. To be honest, I feel quite blank at the moment, and very bored. Oh, wait, I managed to play Stillborn by Black Label Society on "Hard" difficulty today on the drums in Guitar Hero. Very interesting, I'm sure you agree. (Not.)

So, since I can't think of anything I suppose I really will have to leave you on an anticlimax. In fact, since posting without any effort whatsoever would make me feel so guilty, I'll give you a video to watch, one of my favourites and very ingeniously put together. It's great, check it out.

It's review time.

Hey everyone.

Okey-dokey, normally I wouldn't bother with book reviews. To be honest, I don't see the point in reviews, unless you're going to buy the product and you want to see what people think of it. I mean, why would you read a review about something you already have to see someone else's opinion about it? You've got the thing, you have your opinion, that should be that. So in general I see reviews as pretty useless things.

However. I am being paid EXTRA for book reviews, hence I will start posting these a lot more often to hasten the arrival of the moneys and therefore the Epiphone. That's only when I have the strength, however, since it saps a lot of my energy by writing these things - it's tedious to be honest. But anything for the money. God, I sound like a tramp or something. Moving on.

So, today I'll review a book called Noughts & Crosses. Heard of it? More than likely, it's a very good book, written by Malorie Blackman. It tells the story of a nought (white person), Callum McGregor, and a Cross (black person), Sephy Hadley. You can probably guess both by the way that each of the races has a title and that the "nought" isn't capitalized and the "Cross" is, therefore implying that the Crosses are more important, that the book follows a very controversial path, and you'd be right at that. There's a many themes in this book, and I mean many. I'll only write about the first of the trilogy, maybe I'll review Knife Edge and Checkmate afterwards.

So, the themes. These include Terrorism, prejudice, hatred, love, interracial love, mixed race children, martyrdom, police brutality, etc. You can tell it's a bunch of hand-picked themes chosen specifically to pluck at the heartstrings, so to speak. Blackman most likely chose these to create a sense of empathy between the reader and the characters, and I can say that it works bloody well. If it was something pathetic, like, oh I don't know, losing a mobile phone, the reader might feel sorry somewhat for the character but it's like an ant stood next to a Tyrannosaurus Rex when the character's been affected by a shopping-centre bomb placed by a nought "freedom fighter" terrorist group.

I'll say another thing, the book manages to follow several characters' stories while not getting the reader confused, like so many other books do, which angers me slightly. Blackman finds ways to twist between each storyline, leaving each one at a cliffhanger. No, not a cliffhanger, more like a skyscraperhanger. The suspense built up sometimes is enough to make an OAP wet their stinky pants.

Okay, I'm worn out. Not a great or a lengthy review, but it'll do. Besides which, my mother is ramming the vacuum cleaner up my backside to tell me to get up and help with the chores. So, for now, I'm going to bow out. Have a nice night, and if you're religious stick in a good word with God for me, I want the GCSE options I chose and I'll be angry if I don't get them. Anyway, that pole is really not doing wonders for my anus, so bye bye.

The inspiration's dying

Oh no. What's going on?

I missed a day. NO WAY. I didn't post yesterday!! How could I forget!?

That's a little less money towards the Les Paul. A little less money to my current life goal. A little less money, a little less money.

Oh, how could I forget?

Well, there's no point brooding about it now. I'll just make two posts today. Or maybe tomorrow, if I don't remember for today. Nah, I'll do them today. So, what d'you guys want to talk about? Oh, I know. The console battle.

Right, most of you gamers will know what I mean by the console battle, but for those of you who are sat at home thinking "What the hell is a console battle?", it's pretty much the ongoing battle between Xbox 360, PS3 and Wii fans. Again, you might think "I've never seen people argue over something so pathetic" and you'd probably be right. But it's incredibly hard to stop yourself from defending your corner of the ring when someone preaches about their console.

I'm in the Xbox 360 corner, Microsoft for the win, etc etc. I'm not actually that patriotic about it all, but all the same I don't like it when people go "The PS3 owns. 360s are for dicks" and so on and so forth, it's ridiculous. I never actually start these arguments but I always have to defend the 360 because it deserves to be defended.

The PS3 has better graphics? Of course it bloody well does. It had a whole year to improve on the Xbox 360, which was released mid-November 2005. Sony released their counter in mid-November 2006, with not actually what you'd call a year's progress. Big whoop, so they added Blu-Ray and a better graphics engine - huzzah. Who really cares? The graphics aren't exactly Pacman and Final Fantasy either, the difference isn't all that noticeable, at least not to me. And as for Blu-ray, any 360 owner who wishes to watch a Blu-ray disc can simply go and get a Blu-ray extension and link it up - good as gold.

On the other hand, I have to admit that free Xbox live would be quite nice. And surfing the internet would also be a good little addition to the Dashboard. So Sony actually did do quite well in improving a few things, but not the really important stuff.

You think different? Post your arguments if you want. But for now, Harry out.

Woah, slow down, says my brain

Well, that was close.

You see, I only just remembered to do this blog today, which sucks. Because I still haven't got into the habit, which means pretty soon I'm likely to forget one day. And then I will miss a payment.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.

*Ahem*. Now then, that's over with. So, I went to a birthday party today of one of my friends' fathers, who is fifty. The 5-0. Five decades. Sweeeeet. Of course, since he's only my friend's dad and not my friend himself, I don't know him all that well and therefore only really came to be polite and to wish him a happy birthday, after which my friend, my other friend and me went outside with a football and had a kick-about for a while down at the local field.

Just as we were heading back to the pub, which was where the party was held, two of my friend's little cousins came running out, Mummy right behind them. So, because we'd feel guilty and harsh if we didn't, we agreed to go kick the ball around for a bit longer to entertain the younglings.

Now, this will sound extremely depressing. But I had more fun with the little kids than my mates.

Okay, that really was depressing. In fact, let's phrase it another way. I had more fun with the younger boys than I did with my mates who now go another school and who I only see once a month, if that. There, that doesn't seem so bad. But the reason for that was because they were so full of laughter. No matter what you said, a giggle from your waist level occurred.

As a result, me and one of my mates decided to be the goalposts while one of the younglings was the 'keeper. He saved about half the shots fired, me and my mate pulling off dramatic dives for their entertainment. At one point it resulted in a wrestling match between me and the other goalpost - fake of course, wrestling is pretty pointless - which had the kiddies in fits of laughter.

Maybe we run out of the laughter fuel when we get older. God knows I couldn't laugh for so long without feeling out of breath, and I'm only fourteen. Perhaps it's like the oil crisis now - pretty soon it'll be gone altogether. I scared myself when that notion popped into my head - no laughing once I'm into adulthood? No more happy moments at the park? No more giggling at some immature jokes in a film starring Will Ferrell and John C. Reilly?

But then I console myself. I see a lot of adults walking around, their faces turned down and frowing. But there's just as many who walk around with a positive air, smiling and friendly. Obviously not the guys who work at KFC or anything, but just average you and me type people. So maybe it isn't the fuel that is important. It's the will. And only a few people lose the will or the hope for laughter. I sure as hell hope I'm not going to lose that will, it'd be the most depressing thing to ever happen. Until then, I'm going to watch some hilarious literal music videos. Know the song that was posted last time? The music video was taken off YouTube - tears. But this guy called Dusto McNeato who makes funny YouTube came up with this great original idea. Check it out, it'll certainly fill up your laughter tank right to the brim.

Red Hot? Damn right

Hey again.

So, music. Since I'm in a musical mood - as usual. No, but really. Let's talk about music, and real music, not the trash I mentioned a few months ago.

So, know any decent bands? Ooh, I got one. Lostprophets. Hmm, well actually they're pretty average, they don't have a unique sound and they're still pretty new on the scene, as it goes. How about... Led Zeppelin? Oh, they're a bloody brilliant band alright, but... their time's been and gone. Their prime was quite a while ago, and though it's great they're still going with that reunion tour and all, I don't think they'll ever be quite as awesome as they used to be. So, we'll have to keep looking. Hmmmm...

I got it. The perfect band. Not too new, not too old, perfect and unique style and sound, talented members and a brilliant stage presence. Guessed who I've thought up yet?

That's right. Red Hot Chili Peppers.

Of course, the ignorant ones of you out there will say "who?" or maybe "oh, aren't they those types of pepper they sell down at Morrison's now?". But those of you who even vaguely know your stuff will have heard of, and probably respect, this band. Honestly, they're the greatest quartet I've ever seen in the world, they fit together just so perfectly. Chad Smith - absolutely amazingly talented drummer, his hands-in-pockets style letting Flea make more of a groove and some experimentation. Flea - one of the best bassists out there today, if not THE best. Especially during improvisations and in slap n' pop songs, he demostrates a thorough and detailed knowledge of the fretboard of that beautiful signature bass, when he travels up and down it at breakneck speeds. John Frusciante - the best experimental guitarist of all time, in my opinion, maybe second to Hendrix. The way he blends his guitar improvs, gentle or loud, with Flea's bass and Chad's drumming, is something that only true, unadultered talent can produce. One of the only guitarists out there who knows exactly which fret on the guitar will make the best sound at a time. And of course, Anthony Kiedis - a very charismatic frontman whose vocals and lyrics can be haunting one moment, loud and happy the next. Some have said that he's the least talented in his field in the band, but I would say he's way more than competent to hold his own with the outstanding musicians he gets up on stage with.

And, to top it all off, RHCP have been together since 1983 - That's over a quarter of a century that they've been jamming. Not 25 years consistently, okay, what with having the common rockstar problems of drugs and publicity. The Fru had to duck out at one point to sort his heroin addiction out, as well as the original guitarist Hillel Slovak dying early on due to a heroin overdose in 1988. They've been through most shades of music now - from punk to funk to ballad to whatever you want to call them. They've seen it all, and they're still standing. Not something you can say about most bands. And that's why I love them. Here's one of their best songs, in my opinion.

School and its lameness

Hey again.

I've just come back from school, and I didn't like it. I never like it. And I never have. But. Can you blame me?

Maybe you like school - ask yourself why. Why do you like school? Most likely "because you get to meet your friends". Big whoop. I could meet my friends outside of school, without having a teacher throwing me in a detention or something for talking. Hang on a second, what did you just say? How would I have met my friends without school?

Okay, you have me there. I suppose they should hold, like a week of school, so you make friends. Then they tell you to bugger off and leave us all to our own devices, with our newfound group of friends. Because friends would be a lot easier to make without a teacher shoving rules and manners down the plastic tube down our throats which is school. And besides, I would attend clubs and stuff that I'm interested in to fill the gap where school used to be, and I'd meet plenty of friends there, people who are interested in what I am. So really, why do we need to go to school? If it didn't exist teachers might be able to get a better salary too, at a different job.

Oh, and screw education. Har har.

Sorry, I forgot a bit.

Been a bit since the last post, eh? My bad for that. It's a little late now but Merry Christmas and Happy new year, and happy Chinese new year as well. Bla de bla de bla.

Anyway, I'm not always going to be ranting, in fact I'll try to make them few and far between. I know most people aren't fond of being raged at on a topic that I feel strongly about and won't rest until the argument is won. Uh oh, I'm getting started again, so let's find something to hold me back.

Aha, music again. I normally wouldn't actually write a blog like this, as I know I wouldn't commit. But this blog's special, in that I'm getting paid to do it. Paid! YES! MONEY! AHAHAHAHA!! No, but seriously, I really am getting paid for this. Every post I make gets me some coins to rub together, which I could easily go spend down at the shops, or to buy some sort of weird watergun that can shoot lemon juice or something strange like that. But that's not what I'm saving up for, though I know more than one person at my school I'd like to see writhing at the floor in pain whilst clawing their eyes, me standing over them with my Lemon-Shooter 5000. I shouldn

't mention that they're mostly teachers I want to spray in the face. Ups, too late. Anyhow, the thing I want to buy is the most beautiful thing in the world (at least to me). It will take a while to rack up the money for it, but I know it's one of the only things that could keep me committed to something like this.

Feast your eyes on this b-e-a-uty.

Tell me that isn't one of the most deliciously beautiful guitars you've seen in your life and you'll receive a slap in the jaw. Yeah, that's right, I'll come and slap you through the PC screen. Don't think there isn't a way to, either. I've done it before. Seriously, though, you have to admit you'd be crazy not to want one, even if you can't play guitar for camel dung and only want to display it in your front room so that visitors fall into the couch and sit there all day, dribbling into their laps over the magnificent specimen in front of them. Wouldn't you take this to the Louvre and ask them to place it in the Mona Lisa's stead? Personally I honestly believe it's that aesthetically pleasing and I am never going to leave it out of my sight once I've got one.

*Cough, cough.* Sorry, I was on a spree there. I suppose you want to know what the guitar actually IS. You don't? Tough balls, you're going to have to sit tight and listen. It's an Epiphone Les Paul Standard. It sounds pretty decent, with its two humbucking pickups and the Gibson way of making their guitars produce any tone for any genre. Buzzing (or feedback) is cut out thanks to those pickups, and it has a three-way pickup selector, with 22 frets, mahogany neck and a mahogany-alder body. Also put together expertly thanks to the fact that Gibson, the mother and creator of the Les Paul model, bought Epiphone and pretty much sell less expensive and less prestigious versions of Gibson's guitars. From the reviews I've read, it's got good durability and won't have pickups coming apart like my current guitar does.

Not that my current guitar sucks or anything, it's actually a really nice one for heavier rock sounds. Here is my first and current one, a Schecter Blackhawk:

That one's got a black finish, ignore that. Mine is sunburst (the same type of finish as the Les Paul). I actually quite like my guitar, it's good-looking, three-way pickup selector, two humbuckers, 24 frets, etc etc. But nothing can beat the prestige of having a Les Paul.

Nothing.